Being Adult | Looking For Love


It's not just me right? Every body's looking for a bit of loving. Someone to tell your stories to, have a cuddle with and lay around watching movies. Netflix and chill. You know. But how do we distinguish between love and lust? A good relationship from an iffy one. It's hard to tell, I don't have a clue what I'm doing. Do you guys?!

My friends will be the first to tell you I go head first into relationships. It's pretty much an all or nothing thing for me and they think I'm crazy! Haha, call me a hopeless romantic! I'm a sucker for a gooey story. Being this way has definitely put me through my paces though. Dating is exciting and amazing, but getting hurt and being a fool is tiring. Really tiring. I guess it's taught me to have a hard shell and distance myself sometimes. I started dating a guy and pff, I'm really going to write this. I actually googled, "I'm scared of getting hurt." Unsurprisingly it's the 2nd suggested, I'm clearly not alone in this! Ahaha! I got some good insight from that google jobby. It was an emphasis on the things my friends and my mum had already said!

That I'm afraid of heartbreak. I addressed this one my self initially, yes I've been heartbroken. But that comes with the territory. What? I burnt myself on the hot pan, so I'm not going to cook again? As cliche as it is, It's better to have loved and lost. I mean, live the rest of my life without falling incautiously in love? No thanks.

Being afraid of letting someone get to know me. I lost myself for a while, I really did. It took a long time to get back and learn what I liked again. What made me really laugh. For some time I had to fake my confidence to gain it and that came with creating an image. When I'm at home and being myself, "Sweatpants, hair tied, chilling with no make up on." That's when someone should love you, no matter what. If they don't... they ain't right.

I've got way too much stuff going on right now for a boyfriend. Maybe it's an Asian thing, "No boyfriend! Just study! Get married when your 40, but no dating, just study!" Hahaha. If he likes you though, he'll respect your commitments. You'll push each other to be the best, always. Having said that, if you haven't got time to fall in love and make a connection when do you decide to stop? Sometimes you have to, just as you would for family time. You have to make time and compromise. It's all part of a partnership, right?  This doubles with changing. Simona so wisely told me, we all have to evolve. The crazy thing is I know this. It's just scary knowing that someone could  potentially have such a huge influence on you.

Being afraid of happiness. This may sound really alien and really, really, crazy to you! For so many of us though, this is a reality. And how weird is it? There's something so strangely intimidating about it, but it's getting better. Let's face it, we're all pretty messed up like that. This was my favourite part of the article I read, really resonated to me. "But if you don't want to start a relationship (or want to leave one) because you think it's going too well and you don't know how to handle it, let me tell you this: you can handle it and you deserve it and JUST TRY IT. Everything is going to be okay. And if it's not, you can cross that bridge when you come to it."

This was pretty cheesy and might have freaked my friends out.. and probably freaked him out. But there it is hahaha!

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